Scoring the Score post Woman #1

her initials were RW and she was the first woman i had sex with.

first of all there was the time we made out and she felt my cock and said “im nervous”

“why?” i replied
“I’m afraid you’re going to hurt me..”
“my small dick?”
“um, you are pretty big..”
“no i am not!”
“yes, you are!”
“i think im going to kill my stepbrother and his friends”

the first girl to feel my erect penis tells me im packing a meat missile… hello ego boost!

so we each agreed the next day we would fuck

[the next day]

i put on a regular condom and it hurts.. (i later find out the hard way i need to use Magnum XL condoms which i hate the looks i get when i buy them)
and i stick it in kinda fast. you have to understand im an 18 year old virgin with absolutely NO idea what to do but RAM RAM RAM RAM

OUCH! she says, and backs up

immediately I think I hurt her, no good.

she said “ok ok its fine im just not used to big guys. just be gentle”

so im gentle for a while.. about 25 seconds then im just pounding her

and pounding

for about 45 minutes and still not jizzed yet

and she says “do you just want to stop?”

“are you kidding rw???” “im still erect!!”

so she fucks up for a little while longer and POOT POOT POOT i make a mess all in that condom.

now out of 0-10 i give that experience a 2..

i went around telling people “i got me some last night” and people were telling me “oh wow thats great!”

i cussed every single non virgin that talked to me that day..

especially the ones that hyped up the whole sex thing for me. they can all go to hell. the first time for me was soooooooooooooooo boring.

#ShaveSaturday and other such drivel

yesterday was pretty hectic for me.

first i decided to go with my stomach med only, just as a test. i tried to go without anything else.

mistaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake

i hurt, i was in psychosis, i was mean, i was just awful feeling.

even my girlfriend was mad at me.

she didnt deserve yesterday. i tried to make up for it as much as i could but i dont deserve any sort of forgiveness.

shes on me about my drinking. and its because of her ex. her ex used to get drunk constantly and abuse her. her ex even pulled a knife on her. he was into drugs as well.

I do not get drunk constantly, I do not abuse her, I never pulled anything more than a tickling finger on her. I am not into any illegal drugs.

this is what i get for dating a girl with heavy baggage..

Newsflash honey, 3 girls tried to stop me from drinking all the time. one teased my dick without fucking me and wanted to wear my coat and Kenny from South Park charm i got from my mom for Christmas. she always wanted cigarettes too. she played with my heart and i finally blew up and said “OK LOOK, this is a high school relationship and it’s ment for me to have sex with you as a status symbol and you are not going to do it. i know you arent now. the Jack will be there for me when either i leave you or you leave me and im telling you now i will happen soon if you DONT fuck me. i am sick of the games and i want to fuck you.. end of story. im not staying with you if you dont. im hanging up now AND drinking my Jack, dont like it? dont call me ever again!! *click*

guess who never called me back. >=( fucking bitch.

the next one was a stupid irc “girlfriend” .. thats just like “um.. i cant touch you, i cant hug you, i cant fuck you.. why should i stop getting drunk?”

the final one was the girl who was a freshman in highschool while i was a senior. what the fuck was i thinking dating a freshman in high school when i was a senior. eh.. Her mom heard me on the phone saying i was drinking a 32oz colt 45 at about 3:30pm.

I know, its a good time to start drinking if you have no life in high school. my life was living in the stoners palace. but thats another post all together.

anyway her mom forbid her from seeing me. YAY MOM i didnt need that hanging over my head.

#ShaveSaturday is one of my tags on twitter.

ok MEN, its time you shaved off those filthy beards, mustaches and neck hair and adapted to the best look a real man can have..

A CLEAN SHAVEN FACE..

beards are not sexy, goatees on fat guys is just pathetic and have been the thing since 2000. sorry Swansons, nobody can handle that mustache but Nick Offerman, and you are not him.

WASH YOUR FACE AND SHAVE THE FACIAL HAIR OFF OR DIE OF EATING ECOLI LADEN SHIT!!!!!!!!

the BETA version of my website is coming along swimmingly.. its 80% finished, i just need to spend today on it, should be ready by tomorrow. start it all on sunday at 8am ready or not =)

tl;dr? DRINK, SHAVE, GO TO http://www.tesko.me/indexBETA.html for the preview

peace~

Shots or YAY this shit won’t work

at pain management today i was not given a steroid shot, instead i need to make an appointment to have shots given to me. this is a form of FUCKING SURGERY?????????????????????????????

taking my lady shopping at walmart for food.

Game cigars, BLUE, taste like pancake syrup

i got nothing

Code day #1

managed only to get the base work done today. no math though…
i was really off today due to pain and fatigue i have no idea where that came from…
im not sure exactly why im so tired and wore out all the time.
i guess ill have to report this to my doctor on wednesday

speaking of my doctor..

the receptionists LOST my appointment on wednesday so i had to be double booked wednesday at 12:40pm. im not getting mad because i really need to be seen. my back, hip, left leg and knees are fucking up and i need a steroid injection or (please no) prednisone steroid pills so everything will stop hurting

i dont need narcotics or opiates, just a steroid shot. in fact i dont WANT narcotics or opiates at all.. never again. well if my pain doctor would give me 5 vicodin for extreme level pain (9 on a scale of 0-9) i would be ok with that. i dont want to get addicted to those things.. or my family even knowing i have them.

so what else is new.

tomorrow i have to dreg around mental rehab for god knows how many hours until i can go home and rest again. plus my girlfriend is coming over and i just want to lay in bed. i also want to finish my conversion program before i get in so much pain i cant handle it.

my daily dose of pain killers is this (all day)

8 ex str. tyleonl
2 celebrex
3 baclofen
6 evening primrose oil
2 topemax

yes im in that much pain, its not fun at all

I should post the images of my spine MRIs so you can see the mess that it is.

ill be busy af tomorrow, even though i go to mental rehab i still answer texts, tweets and socalize with the people there. not the ones who just ask me for cigarettes. i stopped carrying my cigarettes in with me last week, so i just went to my car and got one every time i needed one. this way i “had none to spare”
tomorrow im getting cheyanne cigars, 2 pl full flavor and 1 pack vanilla (yes two different stores) then going to mental rehab with the vanilla ones.

cheyanne cigars are easier on me than dirty cigarettes.

time to take meds and go to beds.

goodnight.

At the heart of it all

so monday im getting back to programming C++ FBAP (for business and pleasure)

I always share my source code for things, like the game Space Adventure, which can be downloaded on my webpage for free. there’s a windows version, a unix version (FreeBSD) and a Gameboy ROM (thank you Tutas for this) which all are free downloads.

i miss programming and C++ is fairly easy.
now that i have a windows 7 machine to play with i can program stuff for windows as well! i can even use OLColdgameengine to make stuff when i get seasoned again.

got some rolling rock beer yesterday night. good stuff too. goes down faster than a crackwhore for an 8 ball. I still like my natty light for the mornings.. and afternoon.. and a night cap, but in that time rolling rock is my 2nd favorite beer.

changed my website again as usual, and the only worse thing would be not having a website lol.

my girlfriend hates it when i talk about computers. in fact ALL my girlfriends have hated when i talk computer shit. im not mad i just wish my current girlfriend would just learn about computers beyond watching amazon prime and netflix and youtube all day. oh yeah she does play games on king.com but thats about it.

you can catch a bit of a high if you smoke cheyenne cigars if you suck the filter and hold the smoke in your mouth then blow it out of your nose. its a nice little high that lasts a few minutes and it doesnt fuck you up like nasty weed does.

i guess i do a lot on electronics of one form or another.. currently i do:

use a FreeBSD computer
use a Windows computer
play games
use IRC
use Discord
play two keyboards
play electric guitar
record acoustic guitar
record electric guitar
play electric bass
record electric bass
record a podcast
maintain a website
check email (web based)
test and debug source code
share source code
update and maintain both my win7 and FreeBSD computers
burn ISOs
use a Smartphone
write code
maintain a blog
search for crazy images
search for crazy videos
find funny and fucked up porn
test software

thats all time consuming.. phew

thats all i have for now, peace out cub scout or something abysmal like that the kids say.

RIP Tanner Bighouse – we’re all going to miss you, brother.

Dealing with idiots pt. 0

one day my girlfriend’s dad, she and i were in rigley MD getting some food and drink for later.

after we had payed for the goods, we went outside

there was a man with a van parked next to my car…

the man said “ill clean off your headlights for ten dollars”
i said “i dont carry cash”

he did see money in my girl’s hand though, the jerk.

he proceeded to wipe my front headlights off and say “see? nice and clean, ten dollars”
he smiled and looked at the money in my girlfriend’s hand

i said “babe, put your money away NOW”
he said “ten dollars man” and held out his hand and smiled at me

this is where i get pissed off

me: “DID YOU NOT HEAR ME WHEN I SAID I DIDNT CARRY CASH?????”
him: “but i wiped off your headlights”
me: “I NEVER TOLD YOU TO DO THAT!!!! AND SHES NOT PAYING YOU EITHER AS ITS NOT HER CAR!!!”
him: “how about two of those beers?”
me: “let us all leave or i call the police”

he left very mad

i really hate random people most of the time

Screaming All Alone

somehow im expected to pay for my girlfriend’s shit even though she makes more money than me on disability.

she annoys the piss out of me on a daily basis

always trying to tickle me
always trying to stick her finger in my crack
always getting me to pay her way
always laughing about my risperadol rack
always trying to lick my face
always trying to share cigarettes
always farting in my car with broken windows

however,
these things are extremely important to me
shes a pure goofball and someone i can be weird with
and i treasure it

i dont want to lose her

i love her to death

i wouldnt trade her for anyone, not even (insert hot black babe with ample curves’ name here)

i still look at other women’s butts but oh well, i appriciate a nice ass
but it only makes me want to fuck my girlfriend because shes got quite an ass on her.
shes got one of them ghetto booties

rawr

im running out of money for the month.. every single month i run out. the government also took away my food supplement payment

i bought vodka today .. i just want to drink my sorrows away

heres a pic of my latest tattoo tattoo001

love it or hate it, its in my skin now, and i have a bunch more to do
i may or may not put a photoset of all my tattoos on my website

if you havent seen my website its here and its fun. click the link to see it

Peace

Kombat with Beer and The Drunk woman

yesterday was a weird day.

ill blame the heat for this one but here we go…

my girlfriend and i went to her dads house. we got some Bacardi Bahama Mama pre-mixed drink (12% in a huge bottle), 2 25oz Bud lights, 1 25oz Natty ice, a bottle of Thunderbird, and a small bottle of seagrams 100proof vodka.

but first we have the sex! tesko needed his chocolate.

so its boiling hot outside so we brought the booze inside. we almost immediately start drinking.

*advertisement* This blog owner needs to get a hold of some Cisco RED before it is all drank up. leave a comment and we can talk about this

anyway the strangest thing happened: i didnt get drunk of the 25oz natty ice.. 😮 maybe im used to drinking beer now

still going to get cheap suds .

also i drank thunderbird when the beer didnt work. BIG mistake..

i got way too drunk! i ended up sleeping for an hour.

we ended up leaving her dad’s house at 8:30pm … i was sober too

still puked from the nasty bumwine but hey .. its all good

on the way home i stopped at a gas station to get a slushy(slurpee, icey, whatever) and came out of the door and this woman had my car door open…….. talking to my girlfriend……..DRUNK!!!

she told my girlfriend she was special and she could change and she knew this. a bit erie, but she said to me this;

“you take care of her”
“ok”
“no no she is special”
“yes she is, to me, very special”
“take care of her.. im not going to attack you, but the heavens will”

for the record.. i DO take care of my girlfriend, sometimes shes just stubborn in her ways. She needs to lose weight so she can stop having health problems. i try to get her to eat a little healthier but she still wants high fat salty and sweet foods

and disgusting Bud Light.

God already told me to take care of her, and i plan do to so until she:
1. says “get out of my life forever!”
2. dies

manning up is just something i have to do. plus shes only 22 so i need her to be around

i forgot she got a lot of ham and turkey and american cheese…
gonna have to have a talk with her tomorrow

im going to sleep now, its 3:08am now, i need to rest my body for a while.

PEACE! and humptyness forever!

Day off

friday was a rough day.

my sugarpie girlfriend was admitted to the hospital on thursday with CHF so that made me feel like utter shit. this was the second time around. this time she also had pain in her right knee and left ankle.

during her stay.. she pissed out enough fluid to lose 10 pounds of water weight.. shes a big girl but damn.. 10 pounds

the grim news being the doctor saying she WILL NOT make it to 30 if she doesnt change her ways and lose weight soon.

Shes 4″ 11′ (yeah i love shorties) and her ideal weight is 150.

friday i took her to lunch at a mexican resturaunt just outside of Easton, they have the best mexican food there. the damn waiter .. slick bastard brought me a 32oz bud draught instead of 12oz .. but i ended up drinking half of it and giving the rest to my girlfriend because i didnt want to drive drunk. and i ate and waited till i wasnt buzzed or anything so i could drive home unimpaired.. i dont fuck around when it comes to driving.

i have NEVER driven even after 1 natty light, not ONE, i will wait an hour and if i have somewhere to be i wont drink at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

then it was off to Exxon so she could pay her electric bill, then to Wal-mart so she could pay her electric bill. then back to my house to watch Enter the Dragon on amazon prime. good movie! finally it was back to her aunt’s house where she hung out with her girl squad for the night.

today im taking off and drinking may way through the day.. with the cold crisp taste of fine Natural Light, the original Natty, Natty L, Natalie.

cheers!

My Day Out With My Bae

Today was a good day.

First thing’s first, my stepbrother went to jail for 1 month, so im happy about that, so happy I had an orgasm.

Second, I got some money today, my SSI direct deposit today. not much but friday is my SSDI direct deposit so.. go me.

Third, I got to take my girlfriend out to the best italian restaurant this side of the neverhood, Sal’s in Seaford, Delaware. I got 3 slices of pizza; 1 eggplant, 1 sausage, and 1 mushroom. My bae got a Chicken Bacon ranch 14″ (you can see this on my website) and a slice of lemon cake. My bae had never had Sal’s pizza before and she liked it which made me happy because when she’s happy im happy.

just one thing though…

I was at family dollar and this huge fat retarded guy asked the woman at the cash register where the deodorant was.. after that he said this to me:

“..and get your jackass out of here and stop bothering her! she’s got work to do!”

I said nothing, she asked of i knew him.. I didn’t feel like getting arrested for beating him unconscious with my cane so i just left. It’s not like I was afraid of him, Paxil 60mg has me pretty much fearless, but id rather not go to jail for anyone. so I just left.

I went back up there 15 minutes later and the cashier said “yeah he always comes in here starting trouble and he was drunk.” I said to her “I just didn’t want to get into a fight.” she said “no no I wouldn’t have let that happen.”

apparently everyone at family dollar likes me because I am a regular customer there who doesn’t cause trouble (thought i do like to tell jokes and do magic tricks)

still, there was no call for that disrespect.

But all in all my day was pretty great. I pray to god for cooler weather though.